Jeff Goldblum Lives Here, But the Care Bears Do Not
I’ve been answering emails with a beautiful rough green snake attached to my head: Jeff Goldblum. He came to live with us two weeks ago, and I am madly in love with him. He is gentle, and absolutely gorgeous. I’d guess he is about 14″ long, a lively kelly green with haunting, open eyes (they don’t blink, you know) and a long, slender red tongue that whips out when he is smelling his environment (or senses a tasty cricket is at hand, which is a funny thing to say cuz he doesn’t have any!)
He crawls around my neck, tucking the tip of his tail into my shirt, and glides up into my hair and just nestles there. Sometimes part of him curls around my ear. He is strong, and does not like sudden movements or loud noises (also known as children.) So, I’ve been training everyone not to freak the snake. The girls both enjoy holding him as much as me. The other day on the sofa, Lance was letting him crawl across his chest. Gosh! We are happy he has found a home with us. I’d like to thank Emmaline’s dad for such a thoughtful gift!
You may wonder why I named the snake “Jeff Goldblum”. Isn’t it obvious? I love him, too! I have purposefully NEVER seen “Mr. Frost” because I don’t want to see Jeff as the devil. I like him as the smarty-pants sexy smart oddball that he is. I realize my snake looks, nor acts, nothing like Mr. Jeff. I don’t care! The name popped into my head and I’m not messing with it.
I have to say, we were looking for a snake that did not eat mice. Our two mice, Dot and Yo-Yo, are quite relieved our quest panned out.
I did a Care Bears event at the mall on Saturday. But where were the bears? I read and read Care Bear books (the word “books” is questionable) and ad libbed my way to laughter and interaction with the kids. That part was fun! Not having anything to drink, having a giant Care Bear poster continually falling down behind me and having no PA was interesting, but you know, ya wing it.
The one bear who took the time to show up from the clouds was Funshine Bear. That makes sense! He didn’t want to miss out on the fun. I never knew so much about the care bears until I read these books and wore the tee-shirt I was politely asked to wear…which didn’t go at all with what I was wearing, but you know, a new nightshirt for me with pictures of cute bears! I am a happy woman!….There is Bedtime Bear, and Lucky Bear, and Sushi Bear and Teacup Bear and Booze Bear and Pookie Bear
and Say No to Proposition 2 Bear and Bushie Bear and Barbara Bear and Corporate Bear and Fuzzy Wuzzy Bear and
Radioactive Green Bear…why, the list is so long! They have a bear for everything! Oh, and I forgot Money Bear.
I had my picture taken sitting on Funshine Bear’s lap, but I don’t know that the corporate office will be sending that picture, should they happen to read this blog now.