The Depth of a Tear

This morning, I was driving iolana to pre-school, and I popped in a cd of a song
I wrote for my mom. io sits directly behind me in her car seat, just far enough that I can reach behind and hold her hand.

We reached the school, I turned off the engine, hopped out of the front seat and opened the rear, sliding door. To my shock, there was io, sitting quietly,
silent tears streaming down her cheeks. I unfastened her seatbelt, picked her up in my arms, simultaneously wiping her tears, asking her what was wrong.

“That song is so sad…” she whispered in my ear.

I felt a choke in my throat. The song is about my mother’s hands, and how, now, I can look down and see that I, too, have my mother’s hands…and someday, io and Lily will have my hands, too. It is about your mother always being there for you, and even after she is gone, she lives on in your hands.

“Yes, it is sad, honey..but it is also about love….” I responded, gently.
“Did it make you sad because it talks about dying?”

She nodded her little head.

“It does talk about going away. But it also reminds us that we are a family now, and someday, when we die, we will be together, again, in heaven. I promise…”

I stroked her sweet hair and held her tight and we just stood there in the morning sun, dappled with shade from a tree, and hugged and hugged and hugged.

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