John Colson

There was a man in college with liquid eyes and a sculptor’s heart. He had flopsy blonde hair, sweet lips.

I wonder where he is tonight; his name just popped into my brain for no apparent reason. Wouldn’t that be odd if he was one of the other 314 bloggers, and suddenly, without warning, my name simultaneously just popped into his brain, too…?
and he was blogging about me right this very instant, somewhere out there in the world?

Do old lovers ever think about the other? I know I miss my old boyfriends, and I’m glad I still have contact, and friendships, with several of them.

I don’t think the love I felt for them ever went away, it just shifted into something unique that is tucked away in my heart.
If I chance upon them, this warm feeling spreads across me inside, and for an instant, a sigh might escape my lips.
They never grow old in my eyes.

They brought me to who I am today. They gave me reasons to write songs, and letters, and kept me up late talking on the phone, sometimes falling asleep together on the phone.

Like my first boyfriend, Greg Warren. I’ll never forget being 12 and whispering into the receiver with him, my head nuzzling my pillow, the room dark, and hearing him whisper (from 12 blocks away, across Sharpstown). His voice back to me was exquisite.

Last I knew, he was here in Fort Worth. Why don’t I ever see him? What fun it would be to meet in a coffee shop and hear about his life, now.

Not lovers, but friends….curious…your names are flooding my brain now:

Dennis Bubert…you out there? How the heck are you? Do you still have that painting I gave you for safekeeping? Do you still play the trombone and shave your legs to ride your bike? How is your wife? Thank you for inviting me to your wedding….You were a good friend in Denton. And you gave me that awesome silver bracelet, made from the tail pipe of a motorcycle…remember?

And…Tim Foxx…last I know, you were in Chicago, I think. Do you still make those houses on stilts out of clay?

Tim Guinee….actor…didn’t you become roommates with Tom Hulce?

Peter Doodeheifer….remember the time I was at your house and you handed me the frozen egg (your mom kept the eggs in the freezer, and I didn’t believe you) and when you handed it to me I started laughing so hard, I sat down in the floor and couldn’t stop…and you drove a scooter…and you were in the dance department, after transferring out of art….

Julie Parsons…I see your groovy sister all the time at my shows in Austin…she has such beautiful children!

And Juliet Lee…where are you? Still in New Mexico?

And lovers….

I know where Eric is…and know who I am talking about…I kept all the handmade books you made me.
I’m sorry if I hurt you back then. Please know my intent was not to hurt you…maybe that is what young love is all about…figuring out who you are and ending up here so we can look back and be grateful for the journey we’ve had.
And apologize for the mistakes along the way…I should also tell Brian I’m sorry, too, because we tried on two seperate occassions and I could never get it quite right…

And Brad…thank you, and your wife, Amanda, for including me in your circle of joy…I am beyond happy you found each other and have brought beautiful children into this world…I know what a great parent you have to be…! You were always patient, and funny…and so so so generous!

I’d really love to catch up with Aaron…I think you were in Texas City, but that was years and years ago….Gosh.
You taught me about Monty Python and Pink Floyd and Little Feat. We saw “Dawn of the Dead” and I pretended to bite your shoulder when the zombie came to the door and you jumped. And you and I went to a chinese restaurant for our first date…is that right? What are you doing and how has your life turned out? Do you still make beautiful art…
If you contact me, I will take you out for Chinese and we can catch up….

Is this what happens at 2:30 in the morning when people blog? Golly!

To all the good men in my life: Thank you.
To all the good friends in my life: Thank you.
To all the sisters in my life: Thank you.
To soggy bottom bloggers, around the world: thank you, too.

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