What’s the Matter?

Conflicted and insistent
this persistent feeling
of nothing’s real, all stolen
swollen, woven tight
So tight I can’t breathe
At least not tonight…

I stand on a stage I hardly even know
With a new guitar I met hours ago
The lights are blue, and way down low…
I could hide here
I could hide behind the sounds of the strings
and be the kinda things I wanna be:
a warrior princess of folk and pop
and occassional hip-hop,
ready to blow your mind
ready to make you think
to give, to laugh, to roll….
But I freeze…I forget my
thoughts all caught up in
what to say, how to say it

My heart is in the right place.
Wanting to give, give, give it all away
There’s only today, right?
I work up past midnight
Take the money given to the folks who need it
Then they can decide
how and who and when to release it
Unleash that fear, that anger over there
Wanna make it right?
Yea, you know I do… I wanna make it right
RIght now, you mutha….(say, what!? Whatchoo say?)
(Am I invisible?)
You, you ridiculous woman
You have no right to complain
Where is your suffering?
It isn’t comparable

Oh, I am so wanting to make a difference
I am tired now
But I will not give up
I will not give up
I will give
Up up up and God
do not let me stray
I am feeling lost and forsaken
And your light keeps me warm
In the arms
of hope
and love
and all things good
Of all people good

I have fallen but I hear your voice
You’re calling
I ‘m tripping, I’m
laughing I’m tapping toes to the heartbeat
Close to mine
and I’m still
Squeezing the sugar from the lemons
There’s, oh, far too much to be undone

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